


Lorenzo Rey: The High Lizard of Brooklyn

by QuietReader25



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Lorenzo the lizard, Magic, Post-Episode: s03e21 Alliance, Post-Episode: s03e22 All Good Things...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 15:31:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18741883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietReader25/pseuds/QuietReader25
Summary: To say Lorenzo hated being a lizard was an understatement.He hated it.(A one shot from Lorenzo's perspective as a lizard or my attempt at humour)





	Lorenzo Rey: The High Lizard of Brooklyn

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, people  
> So I wasn’t going to write but I felt inspired.  
> Hope you like it, tell me what you think.
> 
> Omg the shows ending was SO good.

To say Lorenzo hated being a lizard was an understatement.

 

He _loathed_ it.

 

All he did was sit on some twig surrounded by glass with no escape!

 

Personally, Lorenzo did not see what he’d done to deserve this.

 

He had been minding his business when that pompous brat Bane had shown up demanding his apartment back. The cheek of the man! After all Lorenzo had done to help him and this was how he was thanked? Unbelievable!

 

Not only was he trapped in the form of a lizard but he had to deal with Bane’s boytoy pacing back and forth throughout the apartment like he owned the place, muttering constantly on the phone or flicking through old tomes of spell books, whining about his boyfriend who had buggered off somewhere.

 

He had tried to get the Lightwood’s attention on multiple occasions. He had scratched help on the glass, crawled out only to be put back in and had even resorted to sticking his tongue out and waving it in the air like a mad man. Well, mad lizard. But this achieved little .

 

The Lightwood boy was clearly so oblivious that Lorenzo wondered how he had even managed to recognise Bane’s flirtatious advances on him.

 

He also seemed to be so hung up over Bane’s departure that he didn’t even notice anything else. He’d nearly set the apartment on fire when he put something in the oven only to run off in the apothecary after finding something in a spell book and making a desperate phone call to who knows. He had only been saved from burning the apartment down by Lorenzo repeatedly hitting his head against the glass (that and the fire alarm).  Lorenzo thought that was pretty heroic and selfless of him and promised he would portal himself somewhere nice after this.

 

Honestly, if Lorenzo could roll his eyes he would. The two were so busy pining after each other they didn’t even notice anything happen around them.

 

It got even more traumatic for Lorenzo when Lightwood came out of his bathroom wearing nothing but a towel loosely round his waist, beads of water rolling down those impressive pecs, disappearing lower and lower-

 

Lorenzo shook his scaly head as Lightwood went into his bedroom.

 

As long as Lightwood didn’t remove the towel-

 

And there goes the towel.

 

Lorenzo tried to close his eyes but it was too late.

 

He would never be able to look at Lightwood in the same way again or make eye contact with him during council meetings.

 

Lorenzo tried to get over the trauma only for Lightwood to come rushing back out, fully clothed - thank god - and flee from the apartment, a smile spread across his lips.

 

Now he was alone. No one knowing where he was or what had happened to him.

 

Oh well, he thought. Someone would at least notice he was missing.

It was only a matter of time before someone came barging through the door looking for him. All he had to do was wait.

 

 

 

 

No one came.

 

Three _fucking_ days.

 

No one came looking for him during this amount of time.

 

He had to sit there and wait patiently. 

 

How could no one wonder where he was? Did they even notice he was gone? How could they not? Surely they would notice he was missing. Wouldn’t they?

 

Lorenzo was pondering this while also thinking maybe he could try sticking out his tongue and swinging to freedom, when the door burst open.

 

Finally! Someone had noticed his absence and came to look for him.

 

He was just thinking what to do when he became human again when Magnus and Alec stumbled through.

 

Lorenzo sighed. Great, Bane was back and would now see him, probably laugh in his face at his current status. He would never live this down, he would never-

 

_Oh_. Oh god no.

 

Lightwood and Bane did not stumble through the door because they were tired. More like they were stumbling because their faces were attached to each other while hugging in a passionate embrace, their movements hurried and desperate as they clawed at their clothes.

 

Lorenzo could only sit there and watch as the two made out with each other.

 

Bane’s legs wrapped around Lightwood’s waist, the Shadowhunter’s hands groping shamelessly at the Warlocks backside as they both moaned into each other’s mouth.

 

Lightwood then made his way to the couch, still holding desperately onto Bane like a life line before placing him down and crawling on top of the warlock, the connection of their mouths breaking for just enough time to whisper how much they love each other.

 

Lorenzo just sat there on his twig, mouth open in shock.

They didn’t even notice he was there! 

 

He just stood there frozen, not knowing what to do.

Only when Lightwood’s shirt flew off when Bane snapped his fingers, the Shadowhunter reaching down to skilfully unbuckle Banks pants, the warlock moaning, “oh Alexander,” as they began grinding into each other, did Lorenzo finally snap out of his shock, frantically banging his head against the glass.

 

Thankfully, both men looked up from their . . . activities to glance over at the glass container. 

 

The minute Magnus’ eyes landed on the lizard, his eyes widened and had the decency to look a bit embarrassed.

 

“Oh god no,” Magnus breathed against Lightwood’s neck, quickly disentangling himself and buckling back up his pants. He got out from under Alec and made his way to the glass container. Carefully, he picked up the lizard and placed him on the floor.

 

“Magnus!” Lightwood’s whined, standing up behind the warlock as he stepped back.

“Why do you have to play with your lizard -“

 

He was cut off when Magnus whispered an incantation and stepped further back.

 

There was a bright light, the air pressure dropped.

 

Lorenzo blinked against the light, finding he was now at the same height as Magnus, who was staring at him with a bemused smile. 

“What the -“ Lightwood began before looking at Lorenzo as if for the first time, his eyes widening in realisation.

 

“It seems, Alexander, that Lorenzo may have been stuck in the form of a lizard, a spell that may have or may not have been cast by my father,” Magnus answered, smiling sheepishly.

 

Lorenzo glared at him but was stopped from launching into a full argument by Alec stuttering, a look of mortification written on his face.

“You mean he was here the whole time!”

 

Magnus simple nodded. “Afraid so darling.”

 

Lightwood looked as though he was going to say something else when Lorenzo held up a hand.

“I don’t care what you have to say, Shadowhunter, it was a very traumatic for me. I do not want to hear it mentioned. Is that clear?”

 

The Shadowhunter shut his mouth with an audible click, his cheeks flushed red.

 

Lorenzo made his way to the door, purposely barging into Bane as he went.

He turned as he opened the door. “I have never, ever in my 400 years,” he spat at the two, “been so humiliated in my entire life!”

 

“Lorenzo,” Magnus began, “I’m sorry if-“

 

“Save it,” he sneered. “I don’t care for your apologies. I just want to get away from whatever drama those pesky Shadowhunters are brewing up next. And _you_.” He turned his attention to Alec, who had his arms wrapped around his bare chest. “Next time, watch what you do when you you think you’re alone.” He turned to leave, but not before pointedly roaming his eyes up and down Alec’s body. The Shadowhunter blushed furiously as left Lorenzo, slamming the door. 

 

They both stood there, frozen for a minute.

 

Eventually, Magnus turned towards Alec, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Alec, darling, what exactly did he mean by that?” 

 

Still staring at the door, Alec muttered a small, “nothing,” before turning towards Magnus and pulling him flush against his chest, arms wrapping protectively around him. 

 

“Now,” he said looking deeply into the warlock’s golden cat eyes, “where were we?” before being pulled into another kiss.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> What did you guys think?
> 
> Please leave comments.
> 
> I can’t believe the shows finishing. I hope they do a Malec spin-off 
> 
> If you guys have any fic ideas you want writing I will happily take suggestions in the comments. They could be anything from fluffy to downright angsty.
> 
> Thanks


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